Remember my post about the Readers Digest poll (which ranked world cities on politeness)? If you recall, Tokyo was not even on the list.

Yesterday, however, as I was getting off the subway, I was struck by this:

I suppose part of it was because I remember reading Clifford the Big Red Dog when I was about 4 or 5; the other reason was the fact that it was yet another Japanese poster to remind us all of “manners”. This is part of a monthly series put out by Tokyo Metro, and this month’s theme is: “sit close together on the subway seats” (check out their whole series of マナーポスタ here). I’m not sure we can all sit much closer together – I feel a lot more intimate with a lot of people at 8 am than I would normally choose to be intimate with at such an early hour (and none of us is sitting because there are never any seats anyway)…

(AP photo)

To paraphrase Magritte (and really mangle his commentary on representation and reality): This Is Not A Sex Toy.

Nope, clear those thoughts right out of your head. It gets better – this is “Buddy on Demand” and, no, he’s not a sex toy.

What a concept: “Buddy” is for women who are afraid to drive alone at night.

I am NOT kidding.

A quote from the creators of Buddy (emphasis mine):

According to research by the inflatable friend’s creator, insurer Sheilas’ Wheels, 82 percent of women feel safer with someone sitting in the car beside them and nearly a half don’t like driving alone in the dark.

Ummm, ATTENTION Sheila’s Wheels people: the research says “someone“, which, you know, kind of suggests a living, breathing, PERSON, and, you know, NOT an inflatable doll.

PLUS, is there anyone who can look at Buddy and not be instantaneously reminded of “Otto”, the inflatable autopilot in the movie Airplane! (or Flying High as it was known in some markets)??? Remember that Otto had to be manually inflated by Elaine blowing into the nozzle strategically located just under Otto’s belt (and then they both smoke cigarettes)…?

I am seriously interested in meeting any woman who feels more secure with a life-size inflatable doll sitting in her passenger seat. I need to know what she’s thinking and I need to know if she’s seriously thought through the potentially funny and ridiculous situations she might end up in when she, say, for example, parks her car at the shopping mall, or pulls up in her driveway and then deflates her “friend” while the neighbours peer out their windows, or when she pulls in to fill up at the all-night gas station. It’s just ripe for comedy…perhaps Susan on Desperate Housewives should get one (at least they’d share an IQ level and I’m sure Mike would be really jealous when he saw Susan driving around with her new man-doll).

I’ll let the creators of “Buddy” have the last word on this (you couldn’t make this up even if you tried):

“We’re not saying that an inflatable man is the only answer but we do hope it will give women extra confidence and make journeys in the dark less fearful”