ONLY in Japan would you ever see this headline:

Maid cafe waitress assaulted in Akihabara

AKIHABARA — A woman working at a maid cafe in Akihabara was assaulted by a knife-wielding man who pretended to be a customer on Sunday night, police said Monday.

According to police, the suspect approached the 18-year-old college student, who was handing out flyers, and asked if she could take him to the cafe. When the girl guided him to the building and was about to go up to the second floor, where the cafe is located, the man put a knife to her waist, grabbed her breasts and proceeded to put his hand up her skirt.

The girl screamed for help and a co-worker came out of the cafe. The assailant immediately fled the scene. he is described as being in his late 20s, thin and about 160 cm tall.

For those of you who don’t know, Akihabara is the otaku centre of Tokyo (and, by extension, the world).

I do not want to make light of the assault in any way, but, when this:

is actualized into this:

you’re sort of asking for a number of poorly socialized males to be wandering around unsure about how to approach a live female.

The thing I like best about the report is the redundancy of the description of the assailant. Hmmmm…”late 20s” and “thin”…I wonder if he was pale from lack of sunlight too…? I am sure the police will have no trouble finding him in the crowds of Akihabara….

Want to know more? Sure you do! Click here to find out about the “five different kinds of geeks” in Akihabara.